My Speechless Ultrasound

I wanted to send an update about my latest prayer request.  For months, I've been dreading what I had to go through being over 35 years old and pregnant.  I've been asking for peace of mind to get through the genetic ultrasound done that is done at 18 weeks. 

When the test was done for my first pregnancy, there were multiple "markers" that indicated brain damage, down syndrome, and trisonomy 18 defects. We forewent doing the amnio, since we were committed to have the baby, defect or no defect.  We had to undergo regular testing to monitor the status.  Needless to say, we endured months of tears, agony for months, waiting to see something change.  It wasn't until testing was done later in the pregnancy showed that everything was fine.  The results had been false negative.

So going into the test this second time, Hubby and I were very stressed.  We braced ourselves for a set of "markers" and a pregnancy frought with worry once again.

I was lying there on the table, telling myself "God knows best, God knows best, God knows best....", as the doctor rattled through a litany of numbers, measurements, and data, as he rolled the ultrasound wand over my belly.  "Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm.." was the partnering mantra going through my mind, as I waited for his diagnosis.

After what seemed a lifetime, the doctor left the room.  Oh, great.  The doctor came back with the senior physician, who then began to perform more measurements.  The skull, the abdomen, the lungs, the heart,... down he went from head, down to the baby's toe, measuring this and that, all the while poker face. The doctors exchange medical talk, all Greek to me.

When he was done scribbling on his chart, my heart stood still.  This is it, Bonnie.  Be strong.  I expected him to turn to Hubby and me and say what was said last time, "Okay, you can get dressed now.  I will meet you to in my office, where we'll go over the results of the ultrasound."  Tremble.

Instead, he looked at us and reported, "Well, the baby looks healthy.  Everything looks good."  What?! Really?!  Nothing else?  Nada.  And with that, the senior doctor exited the door.  We finished the ultrasound with the younger doctor, asking him to take some "pictures", just for us.

As the take-home pictures were being snapped and the doctor was counting the fingers and toes of our baby, my heavy heart was broken.  Not with sadness or worry like last time.  This time, my heart broke out in song, pouring out with joy and shouts of praise in disbelief.  With tears streaming down my face, I just laughed lying there, like a madwoman on the table, savoring every little grainy pixel of my new baby. 

Now, the fun stuff!  With abated breath, we eagerly searched the ultrasound monitor for hints of "boy" or "girl".   Hubby couldn't contain himself and let out a loud "YYEEAAHHH!!", as we welcomed the news that we will have a new baby join us next March, a sweet baby boy --  just what we wished for!

Our excitement must've rubbed off on the young doctor, because he turned to me and said, "But now you'll be outnumbered!" 

"No, not at all! It's what I've always wanted.  Now, with my three boys, I'll always be the one and only Princess of the family!"  Giggling, I just closed my eyes and said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you.." to God.

As I was drying my tears, getting dressed, a verse flashed through my mind:

         "Naked I came from my mother's womb,
         And naked I shall return there
         The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away.
         Blessed be the name of the LORD."  Job 1:21

Given I have had a miscarriage with this twin pregnancy, a very, very difficult 18 weeks of bed-ridden nauseusness, and a very negative ultrasound first time around, I have been focusing on preparing for "the Lord has taken away". 

Praying only for peace, I didn't even dare pray for an ultrasound free of defects, lest I get crushed with disappointment.

But, in this case, on this occasion, the LORD has given. And I am speechless.

Comments

[Cathy James]

Bonnie,

I'm so glad that things look well for you and the baby. You've been in my thoughts and prayers!

[Michelle Thong]

Wow,Bonnie, what an answered prayer! God is good :)

[Julie Chen]

Dear Bonnie,

What an amazing experience. As I read your words, I was thinking of how "the Lord has taken away" always seems to imply something negative to me. However, here in your story, God has graciously taken away your fear and anguish. May the rest of your pregnancy also be full of praise!

[Jane]

Bonnie, I am so happy for you! Praise God that all is going well and that Josh will have a little brother! I love being the princess in the house too :)

[Kim Hsu]

Bonnie, thanks for sharing- praise God! He knows just what we need, doesn't he? I'm thrilled for you. :)

[Mariko]

I read your story and what a wonderful experience !!

When I had twins and one was miscarried and only Emi remained in my womb. My cervix and womb was too weak to carry twins ..... according to my Japanese ob/gyn he was sure to miscarry both if I had twins..... At that time I couldn't understand GOD's way because I waited for my pregnancy for 6 years and my husband and me was so pleased to have twins ..... I cried for a while but later I thought that GOD wanted to protect Emi and me and He took away another child from me. But now I thank to another child (we gave this vanished baby name "Coco") to follow GOD way and protect us ..... I am talking to EMI about COCO (vanished child ) and I am looking forward to seeing to COCO in heaven.

I keep praying for your healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. I am so happy to know you and have you as my table leader !!

Take care of yourself and have a good rest !!

Love,

Mariko

[Grace]

Bonnie,
What a great relief to hear such wonderful news! God's plans are for good - not for evil, to give us a future and a hope!

[wildCArose]

Bonnie,
I was holding my breath as I read. What wonderful news!