The week after we went trick or treating, I noticed Rex was a bit off. He was more fragile, whinier, touchier, and hadn't eaten more than two bites of any meal. Yes, he went trick or treating. Yes, we allow the kids to take one or two candies from the bag during the day. No, we don't lock the bags up or store them in high places where they can't be reached. The cute felt bags which their grandmother had given them this year were in full view and very accessible in our kitchen.
I felt the honor code was working well. They asked me if they could have a treat, and I would either say yes or no. Accordingly, they would eat or not eat. At least, that is what I thought...
Last weekend, a week after Halloween, my husband caught Rex earnestly chewing on something. He asked him if he was eating candy. Rex shook his head no, but would not allow his father to see what was in his mouth. Even though he was caught "red-tongued," if you will, Rex continued to lie about eating the candy. This was turning into a serious offense as the boy's stubbornness refused to relent.
My husband took Rex to his room to talk to him about lying when he spotted a candy wrapper sticking out of the heating vent. He picked it up and held it before Rex, daring him to continue to deny eating the candy. After much howling and wailing, I believe Rex yielded, admitted his guilt, and promised not to lie again.
Case closed. Right? Well...
My husband decided on a whim to check out the heating vent. He peered through the spaces of the register and saw some more paper down in the vent. He lifted up the register out of the floor, and saw to his horror piles of candy wrappers stashed in the hole in the floor. He called me into the room. I gasped. When I stuck my hand down into the heating tube, my long fingers were able to pull out even more wrappers! The boy had been eating probably ten pieces of candy on average a day and stuffing the evidence down the heating register!
Suddenly my perspective on the week came into sharp focus. Of course, he wasn't eating. Obviously, he was whiny and strung out on sugar all week. And maybe he was feeling bad about hiding it all from us? Is his young 4-year old conscience a little bit at work?
Most concerning for us was the doing the whole thing in secret. We are grateful that we had the opportunity to bring it into the light and to teach him that all the stuff we do behind doors eventually gets found out. It's better to confess and have it out in the open. And we pray that we will be parenting with enough wisdom and grace, so that that doesn't seem like an impossible option as the kids get older. I remember vividly all the high school shenanigans I pulled behind my parents' back, and I desperately want something different for our family dynamics.
Maybe it starts with dealing with candy wrappers in your heating ducts at four years of age.
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